A Lesser-Known Form of the Human Ego

Do you ever blame yourself for not being good enough? Do you sometimes wish you were someone else? If so, this writing is for you.

I need to talk about the human ego. And I need to talk about ignorance. Don't let that push you away—please stay with me.

Understanding Ignorance

Ignorance is often seen as negative, but at its core, it simply means there is something we do not know. Sometimes, we ignore things deliberately—let’s call that "ignoring." That’s fine; we can’t know everything. A certain level of filtering is necessary. That’s why people say, “Ignorance is bliss.” Or perhaps it’s better to say, "Ignoring can be blissful."

But there’s another kind of ignorance—the kind where we are unaware of our own ignorance. This is true ignorance.

The only thing that keeps true ignorance alive is itself. In other words, we need to shine light on it to move beyond it. Ignorance is darkness; seeing clearly is enlightenment. But ignorance resists clarity. It fears being exposed as wrong, so it doubles down, hiding behind strong opinions and emotions.

As you read this, you may experience strong emotions trying to persuade you to stop. That reaction is not in my control, but I want you to be aware of it.

The Human Ego

The ego is a cluster of thoughts and emotions, woven together into a belief system that keeps us trapped in a closed loop. It’s like a thick blanket covering your true self. From childhood, you’ve been wrapped in this blanket and taught that its appearance defines who you are.

Challenging your belief system may feel dangerous. It might even feel like losing everything you stand on. But if you move past that hesitation, you might develop a deep suspicion—an inkling that something about your identity is off. That suspicion is why you are here.

I’m not asking you to destroy the blanket. I’m simply inviting you to peek underneath.

The Two Forms of Ego

The most well-known ego is the classic form—self-absorbed and arrogant. But surprisingly, this is the least common. There is another, far more widespread form that rarely gets discussed: the self-destructive ego.

While the classic ego is a nuisance to others, the self-destructive ego is a burden to its own "host." It manifests as fear, sadness, frustration, depression, and anger—rooted in ignorance of our true nature.

This message is difficult for the self-destructive ego to hear. It often interprets any challenge as a personal attack, reinforcing its cycle of negativity. But I am not saying there is anything wrong with it. I am saying that it is painful and unnecessary.

Stepping out of self-destructive habits is possible, but the first step is hard. It requires complete honesty with oneself—recognizing how our automatic thought processes turn everyday challenges into overwhelming problems.

In simple terms, we don’t see the world as it is—we see it as we are, as we have become. Instead of reacting to reality, we react to our own interpretations. And when we refuse to acknowledge this, we end up in a constant battle with ourselves.

The Self-Destructive Ego as a Victim

When caught in the self-destructive ego, we believe life is punishing us. We see ourselves as victims—obsessed with details, unable to grasp the bigger picture. We fail to realize that we are fighting our own interpretations and automatic conclusions.

But when we awaken, we see that the challenges we face are simply part of being human. Until that realization, the self-destructive ego tries to control life—never succeeding, never seeing that everything it tries to control ends up controlling it.

Let me repeat: Everything the ego tries to control will ultimately control the ego.

Our culture reinforces this illusion, but in the end, the self-destructive ego contains its own downfall. The suffering it creates will eventually become unbearable, forcing us to confront the truth.

The Root of Psychological Pain

The core of the ego is separation—a separation from the source of life itself, leading to a deep sense of loneliness and exposure. The self-destructive ego desperately seeks relief from this separation, but it cannot find it because it is the separation itself that seeks relief.

The ego constructs a mental image of how life and the self "should" be, then fights to impose this illusion onto reality. The pain comes from the ego’s inability to see that this image is fiction—constantly at risk of collapsing. And so, life becomes an endless struggle to hold this illusion together.

There is no peace in this struggle.

This must be seen clearly. This must be accepted as truth.

Once that happens, an opening appears—a chance to surrender to the truth. When this surrender occurs, the separation ends, and with it, the self-destructive ego dissolves.

So, What Now?

How do you let go of the illusion?

There is no method, no step-by-step guide. Identification with thoughts cannot be broken through technique alone. However, historically, listening to words of truth has been helpful.

So, keep listening—to me or to anyone else who points toward truth. And alongside that, cultivate a relationship with stillness and silence.

Ultimately, it is in stillness and silence that you will rediscover your true self.

Fall in love with truth. Fall in love with stillness. Fall in love with silence.

With love,
HC